Thursday, November 15, 2007

RIP ~POLLYANNA MARIE MOLIN~



RIP POLLYANNA MARIE MOLIN

06~21~1994 - 11~15~2007 @ 3:10PM

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Sad Times......

Today is not an easy day for me. I only had two classes and I don't have to work, but I am at home trying to say goodbye to a wonderful puppy that has been in my family's life for the past 8 years. Polly had a stroke last Friday night and hasn't really improved much. She is confused and not really with it but she is still there. I took her for a walk the other night and when i showed her the leash she tried to jump and bark and be excited but it came out kind of like a whine and half bark. but she hopped up a few times. Not the old girl i used to know but she's in there somewhere. My parents made the devastating decision to have her put to sleep. She is at home resting having all the treats we can possibly give her. I haven't really cried til this afternoon when my mom told me they had an appointment set for tomorrow afternoon. Its happening its real she will not be here for this weekend or another family get together. I know its for the best and its stopping her suffering but I don't like it I'm selfish. I'm trying to go through the grieving process but its hard because she is still here eating the treats I'm giving her hopping up and down the stairs to go to the bathroom, laying down on the carpet in front of me. She is also running into walls has a permanent head tilt to the left(her tail even angles that way) and has a dazed and confused look in her eyes. I just wish my parents would wait until Monday. They go up north every weekend... Polly Loves it up there. she used to actually sit on the front porch when it was time to go home and not move until my dad made her come even though she was going for a car ride, she loved it there and never wanted to leave, I believe it would be nice to take her there one last time. I'm considering stealing her and driving up tomorrow after class so she can be there one last time. This is so incredibly hard i really don't know what I'm going to do when she is not here. Its the plain and simple fact that its habit I wake up and Polly is here i need to let her out etc etc now is the time in my grieving process where I'm feeling guilt, for not spending more time with her or taking her for more walks. I just want more time (there is my bargaining...) I want her to be able to enjoy a few last car rides not just the death ride to the vet. I feel so helpless not being able to do anything. I keep thinking in human terms about my residents who've had strokes they got worse before they got better but we wouldn't euthanize a human being.. even though their families were on death watch for a while. People think of their pets as humans sisters brothers sons and daughters.... Why did i think this would be so easy... Its as the saying goes you never really miss something or someone until their really gone.
Pollyanna Marie Molin !!!!(that's what I've always called her)

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Baby Grace

I'm reading the news today and I'm seeing this article about "Baby Grace." It is heartbreaking, and emotional and really hard to comprehend how someone could do this to a little girl she is only 2 or 3 years old and they killed her and stuffed her body in a box. Then proceeded to shove her out into the ocean thinking that the tides would not bring the box in??? This is unfathomable to my mind how people come up with these ideas, how a child could be so "bad" as to have to kill her? no one knows who this baby girl is or really much more then she is a precious angel whose life was cut too short by a person whom seems to have had no conscience or moral bone in their body. I am just thinking about this little girl and praying that the police are able to find whomever did this to her and maybe show them what it feels like to to be bludgeoned in the back of the head then shoved into a box and thrown in the ocean. Please pray for this little girl and hope that they find the person or persons responsible and bring them to justice. There really is not justice in this case though because even if they get the death sentence its more then likely they'll die in prison, which these days is like a 4 star hotel. The Bastards.....

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Good Thing!!!

Work was good tonight. I passed Pills on the TCU(Transitional Care Unit) a place where there are normally staffed with 3 nurse's, But tonight was an exception census was low so they only had two nurses then they got a TMA(Trained Medication Aide) ~ME~ I was able to lighten the load for the nurses and allow them to concentrate on their tasks of paperwork etc... Nick came to work tonight and brought me a yummy dinner. It was really nice and i enjoyed having him there for our little dinner date! It's really weird finding out when you've moved in to a position of seniority over people you work with daily, just because you pass pills. I had an aide tonight that i asked to simply get a resident a commode because i was in the middle of pill pass and could not stop to get it. She kind of looked at me like a deer in the headlights and turned and then went on pretending to do work while allowing the other aide to do the majority of it. I discussed this with a nurse on the station and she said that i needed to talk to her face to face and have her nkow that she needs to help me when i am being a TMA etc and I am the worst at confrontation about these things because i feel like i am not one to say that she was doing anything wrong... So i dont know just had to blog about it ... Lots of Love ~Ammers~